every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm passing your future prison.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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