i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
the gays at disneyland are vicious
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
