shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
