Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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