went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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