Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
