I am spending my child support on dildos
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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