why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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