Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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