What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
