Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
