Whats the glycemic index on semen?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
