I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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