Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
