Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
