This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
