when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
