this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So vagazzling was a success
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
