So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
