That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
