Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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