I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
