Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
