so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and she was petting her beer can
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
