Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
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