i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Green mimosas i think yes
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
