did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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