I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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