This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
