the condom got lost in my hair
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
