I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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