You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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