It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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