I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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