I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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