they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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