is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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