I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
