If that was your dad, he is hot
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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