I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
