He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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