if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
