Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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