Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
