i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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