I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
