I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
