Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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