she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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