the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
